Adam was telling me about "Megan" today. The girl he kissed. The girl that, if even for an instant, made him forget about me.

I'm jealous. I know this. I have always known this. My father once attributed it to the fact that I am the first born... I need constant attention and need to believe that I'm the most important thing.

Okay, I can accept that (as I have accepted my father's infatuation with the Birth Order book). But I wish I could be more forgiving and understanding.

Lets put it this way: Adam kissed this girl for 3-5 seconds. In front of her dorm. At college. Where I am not. What kills me even more is that he held her hand.

His hands are supposed to be in mine.

This was months ago. I don't know why this drives me crazy.




Also, I don't know why Adam isn't more crazy about me and Eric.

When Adam and I broke up I almost immediately began "dating" Eric if it could be called that. I mean a few dates and stuff... I don't know.

But Adam is so cool about it. I mean, Megan and Adam kissed. But Eric and I legitimately made out. I mean, not to get technical or anything but we even went a little further... not like that or anything but he was feeling me up a little.

I would be insane. I would be going crazy still.




Do I just care more?
Is it dumb that I wish he would get mad about it?
Probably.