July 29

The whole family (minus me) is out at some family shin dig. But I'm certainly not in the mood to party down. I'm tired and sick of reality.

Maybe I should just do what Ben suggests and try dating Greg. Greg is so nice and sweet, but I still don't see him that way.

Then there's Neill. I've accepted that I'm leading him on, but I don't care enough to let him go. I truly love him, but I can't date him. (When I say love, I mean I love who he is. He makes me laugh and he makes me happy. It's not romantic love, but it still means the world to me.)

Maybe that's why I always miss Conor. Yeah he's a dick. Yeah he's probably got a ton of STDs now. Yeah he cheated on me. Yes, he is a liar. But I could COUNT on him being all those things. I knew who he was and he knew who I was, and there was no more guessing. I liked that.

Well Courtney just called (Shock!). She wants to come over and hang out.