Friday, February 20, 2009

I think you're a fool.

Why?

You're different now. You're a doormat.

I am not a doormat.

Oh yes you are... you've allowed yourself to become weak. You give in to him so easily. And even when you have a right to be mad you get over it sooner than he deserves.

Adam deserves to be forgiven. He never wants to hurt me.

Then why does he do it so often.

He doesn't hurt me in big ways. They are small ways.

Like when he kissed Sarah.

....

I'm your mind. I know what you think. You think you are small. You think you're not pretty enough. Not smart enough. That you don't drink and party and you are too closed minded. You cry about it when you know no one can see you and you just tell him you can't talk.

We all mess up.

When was the last time you messed up.

Adam was drunk when he kissed Sarah.

Do you believe that?

I think so.

Hm...

I wasn't drunk when I kissed Eric. I wanted to do it.

So, then Adam wanted to kiss Sarah.

I know.

So? You have no right to be upset.

I have no right to be upset.

But you are.

Yes.

And always will be.

Yes.

I think thats silly.

So do I. If I could erase one thing from my mind it would be that knowledge. He ripped me in half.

You know who else did that?

Yes.

And Conor... how did that work out.

I was 16.

And now you're 18. Whats the difference.

Two years and a lot of lessons.

Don't be that girl.

What girl?

The one who dismisses legit points because she doesn't want to hear them.

I have to be that girl. If I'm going to be in this relationship with this man then I am going to have to ignore the things other people say. I have to. I have to make this work.

Why?

Because I love him. I truly do. More than anything. I need him.

Is that enough?

I hope so.

Me too.

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